Are You a Victim of Your Mental Chatter?

Two monks were returning to their monastery. It was a day long walk. They had to cross a river on the way and must reach the monastery before sunset.

When they reached the river, they found a young lady sitting there. She could not muster courage to walk through the turbulent water to reach the other shore and was looking for help. She felt happy when she saw the two monks approaching the river. She requested them to help her cross the river.

The elder monk flatly refused saying that it would be a sin to touch a woman and she must manage on her own. The lady was disappointed and pleaded that she would not be safe unless she reached her village on the other side of the river. And she couldn't cross the river on her own. But the elder monk remained adamant despite her repeated pleading.

The younger monk felt pity and decided to help her. Ignoring the displeasure of his senior he asked her to wrap her dress nicely around her and sit on his shoulder. He would drop her at the other shore.

The senior monk became angry at this “totally unbecoming” conduct of his younger companion, but decided to say nothing in the presence of the lady.

The lady mounted the shoulder of the junior monk and slowly they all reached the other shore. The monk dropped her. She thanked them both and walked away.

But now the senior monk could not control himself any more. He became furious and started reprimanding his junior. He went on lecturing citing the code of conduct for monks, … how he has never seen any other monk breaking rules in this manner in his whole life, … how touching the woman would lead him to hell, … how he has just tarnished the image of all the monks and the monastery, …on and on and on.

Couple of hours later, they reached their destination. The senior monk was still furious and lecturing.

The younger monk finally broke his silence and said

“Sir, I carried the woman on my shoulder for few minutes and dropped her at the river hours ago, but why are you still carrying her on your head?”

Practically 99% people are like the senior monk. When they return home from work they bring their office (work) with them. And the result? They make everyone else around them miserable. But why can't they "switch off" their mind when they come to home?

I know from personal experience -- it is something that we all want to do and know that it is the right thing to do. But just can't leave the mental load in the office and come home with a light mind.. Because we have no control on the mind and its vagaries. We may be a slave-master at work but ever remain slave of the mind -- an ignorant and happy slave though!!

Do you know that you have a chatter-box in your head? It talks incessantly picking on one thought after another – it continues non-stop whether you are working, reading, watching TV, walking, eating, or doing nothing. It has the potential of distracting you not only from what you are doing, but also can paralyze you into inaction when it goes out of control.

When something unpleasant happens that hurts you, this chattering goes into repetitive mode. It re-enact the whole scene over and over again. This endless thought spinning keeps your pain alive and does not allow you to relax.

Regardless of the what triggered the mental chatter, it degrades the quality of your attention in the present moment.

When we hear people talking aloud with themselves we consider it weird. But the voiceless talking that goes inside practically everyone is no less bizarre. As long as you don’t end up verbalizing what is going on inside your head you are sane, at least in the eyes of people around you. But when the thought spinner goes on overdrive it can drive you crazy and make you feel as if you are a pressure bomb.

This is the situation when you are literally an explosive device waiting to be triggered at the slightest provocation. You are no less dangerous than a fully pressurized cooker still kept on the stove burning at the full capacity.

It is this situation that forces people to look for a safety outlet in shouting, throwing tantrum, smoking, drinking, compulsive eating, drugs or any other such act. All these are coping mechanisms that no one considers healthy, but even the wisest soul would find difficult not to fall for. Often people spend hours possessed by negative and destructive inner dialogues.

This neurotic inner talking wastes a lot of energy, time and attention. It is a destructive force that feeds itself. The more it engages the, mind the stronger it gets and the weaker you become. It badly affects your behavior, judgment, and performance.

Constant thinking about the same subject influences the subconscious mind, which consequently strengthens any negative attitude and behavior. Few people have enough internal strength to be able to withstand the onslaught of the negative inner dialogue.

At its core all stress and tension is obsessive mental talking. Negative events provide trigger for it. If you don't handle it carefully it soon gets out of control and possesses you like a ghost. The best place for this mental Ginny is inside the bottle, not out of it. Once out, it creates trouble for you and everyone around you.

There is no other bully bigger than this chattering monkey right inside your head. It feeds on your fears, insecurities, and vulnerability. It also feeds on your wrong attitudes and faulty belief and value system. So learn to fortify yourself emotionally if you want stay on the path of sanity, happiness and progress.

The first thing you have to understand is that thoughts will always cross the mind; you can’t stop them. In fact, thoughts are not the problem, the uncontrolled train of thoughts are. The key to gaining control over the mental activity is to be “aware” of the thoughts.

So, calmly watch what is going on in your mind. If after a few moments you discover that you are not attentive towards your thoughts get back to watching them. At the same time remind yourself that you don't own these thoughts and choose not to own them. With practice you will be able to distance yourself from your own mental activities. Training this way develops detachment that gives you a better control on the mind and its chatter.

Whenever you catch yourself getting carried away with the useless conversation, disassociate yourself. Change it to something more useful replacing the subject and the words and again detach yourself. The ability to disengage from the happenings in the mind is a powerful tool – it is power, it is energy and control.

This separation of the conscious awareness from your mind allows you the freedom to maneuver. It is your attachment to the thoughts that fuels the mental chattering. Once you become disinterested the inner talk loses power. It is like switching off the ignition of the running car – it is going to stop sooner than later! By refusing to get involved with it allows you see things from a neutral perspective and you tend not to lose your sense of balance easily.

A future hub will focus on ways to reduce and eliminate the power of negative inner talking systematically. In fact, it is possible to turn it around into positive spontaneous talk and raise your level of self confidence, optimism and dynamism.

Development of mindful awareness is the ideal antidote to mental chatter and the stress associated with it. This is the ideal tool to break the habit of obsessive thinking. It works because of a simple truth about the mind: the moment you pay attention to it, its activities tend to stop. It is like a thief who loses power if you are watchful and alert! I am presenting here two ways to develop mindfulness: one is traditional and the other involves technology.

1. The ideal way to train your mind is to regularly practice Vipassana meditation – it is an art and science of “mere observation” and “bare observation”. The technique is silently spreading the art of personal peace and wellbeing throughout the world. It is even changing the lives of prison inmates throughout the world.
2. Another alternative for busy people is to take the help of brainwave meditation audios. This is a new technological way. The audios have embedded beats that change the frequencies of your brainwaves to directly alter your mood and mental state. An ideal combination would be to go for a stress relief brainwave audio and another to meditate. If you have never heard about this highly effective tool, please read Brainwave Technology and Its Applications for detailed information.

Regardless of how you learn mindfulness, there is no reason to allow stress and mental chatter to affect your life adversely.